• Drawing by Holden
    Thoughts & Poetry

    Intoxicated

    Yours are the eyes that I would not mind being trapped into. Like the hole to Wonderland, I’d creep right in and swirl down the abyss of your nostalgia, your numbness will block all sorts of clues that I’ve been there, seen it all, and tried to kiss it away to no avail. But I would gladly dive in again, a million times if I must, for your windows need cleaning to see I’m out here and in there screaming. I might be going insane, but I know it’s something I’ve been dying to feel again. Sweet toxic love, all pain, no gain, I’ll stay no matter what. I’ll always…

  • painting by Winston Chmielinski
    Thoughts & Poetry

    The Things I Don’t Tell People

    There are days that I just couldn’t find the will to get out of bed. I guess we all do, although unlike most people it’s never just because I want to get more sleep. There are days wherein I stay in bed for hours staring blankly at the ceiling rethinking and rewinding situations that happened years ago or maybe a few days ago. They danced inside my head as I stare at the cracks, and I would ften I find myself hitting my head with the palm of my hand or squinting my eyes so hard hoping the vivid details would go away. But they never do. There are days…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    Imagining Things

    It might have been easier if I had said something or just turned and walked away the moment I felt it. But I didn’t. I try imagining what my life would have been like if I had opened my mouth and told him I liked him, but instead, I kept on imagining how empty and even more boring my life would be without him in it. I have known him for a while, it was nothing too grand, nothing too exciting. No ‘sent chills down my spine’ kind of thing. Meeting him was as ordinary as it can be, becoming his friend was a surprise but nothing compared to that…

  • Thoughts & Poetry,  VLOG

    Nowhere Girl Vlogs | What’s in my purse?

    Welcome once again to my vlog! For my third entry: Earlier this month my good friend Aaron came by my flat, slightly drunk with a box of half-eaten (giant) burger that we tried to finish over brandy and a box of pizza. Here’s also a sneak peak of what my friends and I do at work when we should probably be working.      

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    Leftover Mental Reflex

    Perhaps it’s the smell of menthol filling the air that brought me back to where I was years ago, back to a time when we were sat right in front of each other. Your hand on my thigh, as you puff a cigarette from the other; a smile plastered on your face while my eyes locked with yours as if we were the only ones that mattered in the world. I looked down and breathed in. How could I have allowed myself to go back in time? I have worked so hard to get here, to be in this state when I no longer spend nights thinking of you, mulling…

  • Thoughts & Poetry,  VLOG

    Nowhere Girl Vlogs | May of 2017

    Welcome to my second vlog! As you can tell, it’s still short and I’m still trying to get the hang of it. For my second vlog entry, I’ve decided to make a compilation of the highlights of my May. To kick it off, I went to my first ever Zomato Foodie Meet Up with my good friend, Kevin, at Artsy Cafe, Maginhawa. Then my BFF, Kim, celebrated her birthday at my place; we swam, had pizza, and a sleepover. Lastly, I went to see Up Dharma Down play live at 12 Monkey’s, Ortigas with my good friend Aaron and some of our friends from the office.

  • Thoughts & Poetry,  VLOG

    Nowhere Girl Vlogs | Visiting Jam 88.3

    I’ve been meaning to vlog for a very long time but decided against it though I continued to shoot every now and then. Plus, it means another commitment for me to come up with more ideas to feature which is gonna be a real struggle considering I live a pretty boring life. I was also worried about the editing, cause I suck at it more than I suck at producing content but then again everything takes time and practice and I don’t really intend to vlog to gain a wide range of audience. I just basically want to have a visual record of whatever I think is interesting going on in…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    On a love that will always be…

    We lived together for some time nearly two years ago, and during that time I learned more than to pick up myself from the ground, I learned the things that I want out of life. Today, you told me you’re gonna be a father. Funny how time flies. What we had was a fairy-tale sort of love story (in my opinion of course) when we were younger… much younger than we were when we began living together… with the sun setting ahead of us, the waves lightly crashing onto the shore, and the fine sand between our toes. It was fast, it was bliss, but nonetheless, a love that could…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    To the Last Man I Dated

    A photo appeared on my news feed this evening as my phone automatically connected to my home internet. I guess I forgot to remove you from my following list. You were standing right next to your ex-girlfriend, but it turns out, you’re back together and you’re getting married. I chuckled, shook my head, and thought: I was right all along. When you no longer called back that morning when you promised you will, I had a hunch that somehow, even though we were getting somewhere in the short-lived rendezvous we shared, that you made up with her. That you’re going to start over where you last left off. I brushed…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    On Forgiveness…

    I haven’t thought of you in a while, but last night you popped into my dreams. For some unknown reason, you were there, smiling at me and holding my hand. We were in some sort of an old castle which kind of reminds me of Meatloaf on Anything for Love. There was some sort of a ball, and there was this grand staircase. We were standing at the bottom waiting for people to come in… Suddenly, the ballroom was filled with people and I found myself sitting on a windowsill staring blankly in the distance. When I looked back, there you were at the top of the staircase, looking down…