• Thoughts & Poetry

    Cigarettes and Airplanes

    You light up a cigarette As the dawn breaks You sat there Staring out to nowhere I could only wonder What’s going on in your head   This view of you Isn’t all too new You’ve sat there before As I lie on the floor   This isn’t new at all We’ve been through this Countless of times I don’t even remember When this view Didn’t ring goodbye   As the scent and smoke Filled the morning air I got up and packed your things away   You said you love me Yes, I know But only ‘Till you catch that plane again

  • Photo by Claudia Soraya - https://unsplash.com/@claudiasoraya
    Thoughts & Poetry

    Dear Chef… – An Open Letter

    How true were your words when you told me you’re not with anyone? I just really want to know. I’m a woman with issues on trust, I’m not the type to be played, I don’t like wasting time like that. So please, I’m begging you if you’re not sincere with your intentions just forget about me. Forget about whatever we talked about and let’s just live our lives the way we intended to before you swooped in out of nowhere trying to play me. I can’t fall in love. Not with you, at least. I can just walk around picking up pieces of broken hearts for the rest of my life,…

  • Image by https://unsplash.com/@asthetik
    Thoughts & Poetry

    I’m Sorry, I’m Trying

    I went on for years telling people, telling myself, that I don’t believe in love anymore when it was people that I meant. I don’t believe in being swept off my feet, I don’t believe in expensive weddings, and I don’t want to have a family of my own. Today, I finally admitted to myself after a long battle with my personal demons that I do want those things. Yet, despite my bravery in admitting that, I still fall short on trust. Recently, a close friend who’s abroad and who has been trying to hit on me several times over the years joked bluntly that we should just get married.…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    Feliz Año Nuevo 2018!

    Happy New Year! WARNING: Extremely long and text heavy post ahead! The holidays proved to be quite a challenge for not only did I spend it (almost) all by myself but also because work has somehow taken over the time I wish I could have spent with my second family, my best friends. Although the last two weeks consisted of terribly busy work weeks, it was also filled with parties (No, I did not attend the office Christmas party again this year.) with friends and some work friends from out of town. I would have liked to recount each party and post photos and description for each event but I…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    Last Days

    Long drives to nowhere Searching for never-ending satisfaction Phony smiles, pretending to care Trying so hard to keep this attraction   When the sun has set And the birds have gone to bed All that’s left is a picture of us Hanging by a thread   Left the car somewhere We smiled through the pain Uttering a silent prayer As we waited for the train   “Life’s gonna be better” That’s what you said Long train ride to nowhere That’s when you proposed to wed   Then the sun had set And the birds have all gone to bed All that’s left was the ring as I stood up and…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    Christmas Lights

    I have been meaning to write about you. I wanted to begin with that night we sat beneath the stars talking about anything under the sun as if I’ve known you all my life, forgetting the fact that all I know was that face, that voice, and that it was the first time we’ve actually spoken. I would have loved to chronicle that night like I have done so easily and so many times before of people who left me in awe. I would have written about how breathtaking the sunrise looked when I saw it rising for the first time in a long time, and you were singing that…

  • Thoughts & Poetry

    Yet Another Goodbye

    This old café, it looks new. They’ve changed the chairs and the curtains, too. But to me, this place is all but the same cause we sat here today where the afternoon sun graced the old table where we used to hold hands and smile at each other. This old café, it looks new. They’ve changed the color and the music, too. And though this place is all but the same, we sat here today looking at each other in pain. They have left you, the joy and pride you used to look at me with, and with them my heart and my once promise of eternal love. Many years…

  • By Siyavush Mammadov
    Thoughts & Poetry


    As the lights dimmed in this dance floor, I have come to my senses. I love how tender the touch, the unspoken sensuality, and the swinging feels, but this dance I can dance no more. For as the violins played, I stepped forward and you took two steps back. This playful dance had me chasing and begging, but this dance I can dance no more. For behind you was someone else about to join this dance I used to love so well. And though the music transcends into my skin and into my soul, I’ve nothing but the memory of your gaze and this gaping hole. All this time I…