Before my husband and I got together, I’ve been single for four years. I’ve walked alone for years after my last relationship fell apart, but that four years of my life wasn’t without any trace of other men. I’ve admitted it before and I’ve written about some of the men I dated in this website. But I guess I never really talked about the time where I began dating men casually.
Yes, I must admit, there was a time in my life where I thought of finally giving up on finding “the one” or getting involved in a marital affair. I admit that these were the times wherein I had a love and hate relationship with online dating as I’ve only been pushed to do it by my friends who found success in meeting their husbands online.
They had such high hopes that I would find my perfect math online, too. But that was something I gave up on long before I even tried it. And when I got to the point where I felt hopelessly and irretrievably in love with the fact and the idea of spending my days alone, I dipped my toes in the casual dating pool.
I’m not proud of it, but I guess most of us, at one point or another, get curious on what it feels like to just meet someone without any intentions of pursuing a long-term relationship with the person. To a younger version of me, it sounded appealing, the feeling of non-commitment after learning to love independence. It was an ideal set-up for me once upon a time.
I’m not proud of it, but I’m not exactly ashamed of meeting people with no strings attached. It’s not like I go all the way with people I meet like what you’re probably thinking at this point. It wasn’t the case or wasn’t always the case. It would need for me to have some sort of a deep connection with a person before I agree to get in bed with one. It’s more of like meeting new friends, flirting, and drinking but such circumstance doesn’t always end up in the bedroom.
Although, there were times that such a situation led to another thing. I once casually went out with a guy that ended up in my bed for eight months. It’s not like I wanted it to last that long, I mean, it defeated the purpose of casual dating but it happened, and to be honest, it wasn’t such a great experience, but it was a learning curve for me and that person.
From there, I learned how to separate emotions from every conversation to discern whether the person I’m talking to is worth that kind of experience again. But to be honest, I’m glad I’ve had that particular experience for it made me realize the things I should and shouldn’t do the next time I go out with someone.
Without that experience, my husband would probably be just another casual thing that would be down the drain the following morning.