I look at his photos, maybe even stare in his eyes and let him hold my hand. We may stand under my yellow umbrella in the pouring rain, smiling, but I won’t feel the same way I felt that last time you stood in front of me.
In the height of my freedom, I still wished we’re in bed together in the middle of the night giggling over your random stories.
As I sit next to someone else in a noisy pub or club, in my mind I would always picture us sipping beer as we sang along to the sweet sound of you playing the guitar.
I guess I still look for you.
It’s crazy, I’m crazy. I know. Kind of stupid, too, as people would say.
But how do you teach your heart to forget the best feeling it has ever felt? To tell myself that I no longer love you with all that I have is just me, fooling myself.
You, simply, are my happiness.
I can go on and be with someone all night, all year or a lifetime, but it will still be you that my heart would look for.
It would still be you who could bring back the sparkle in my eyes with a simple video call. It would still be you who’d put tears of gladness in them as I laugh so hard at any corny joke you make.
For with you, I have been at my happiest. I have never felt that since you left.
I still look for you. I will always look for you.
Nothing will be like it would ever be with you.