I’m sorry for getting mad over petty things.
I guess I’m just used to being a priority for so long that having to fight for my place in someone’s life makes me so frustrated.
But now, as I have come to think of it, I realized that even if my previous relationships didn’t work out well, at least they never looked away to check out some chick, in fact, they looked at me as if I am the only one that mattered. At least, I was given not only their full and undivided attention but also they showered me with love and affection.
I didn’t have to sit around in silence and wait for them to notice me. No. It never happened with them, and even if we were sitting side by side doing our own thing it wasn’t as if we are alone. I never felt this lonesome being with someone in the same room.
I was treated like a queen for so long; I never fought for my place in their lives because they made sure to put me first, to put me on top above their own. I didn’t have to fight for my place over a stupid timed game and being stuck in this situation makes me want to look for something else, for someone else.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.
It’s one thing to love a person but being loved back in return makes all the difference. It brings with it some sort of security that keeps you in place even if no words are spoken. Simply knowing that they pay attention to the little things would make you feel that you have some sort of value in their life.
But who am I to ask for anything, right? When we are nothing less than companions… but could never be more than that.