Thoughts & Poetry

Road Waltz

I turned back to look at you as I was crossing the road.

One.

Two.

Three.

I silently counted, inside my head.

I tried to memorize your face from that distance.

For a second, I wished that a speeding car would just hit me than see that look on your face.

I turned back to the road and walked away.

Somehow, I wished that a speeding car would just hit me than see that emptiness in your eyes that will never be filled with love as you look at me.

I crossed that street wondering if you looked long enough till I reached the other end.

Wishing that a speeding car would just hit me than remember seeing you eyeing other women right in front of me.

I moved past a hundred people, a hundred faces on my way back. Men looked at me in admiration but you never did.

Somehow, I wished that a speeding car would just hit me than think about the fact that you will never look at me the same way those strangers did.

I looked back but I was too far away, and you were no longer there.

For a second, I wished that a speeding car would just hit me than remember you rubbing my arm and looking at me earlier that same evening.

One.

Two.

Three.

I sighed.

I remembered how you smiled but I know you didn’t see right through me.

I stood there and wished that a speeding car would just hit me than continue living with the fact that you can never learn to love me.

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