Oh, L’amour

Oh, L’amour

As much as I want to deny it, there are nights that I wish I could wake up to this again…

I know I sort of promised (at least, to myself) that I’d no longer write about him here or elsewhere, but I guess that’s the problem with us writers. We tend to immortalize the love that is, was and will be–at some point, I find it as a sort of a curse. I wanted to break the chains to which I was bound to and try to explore life more than before. And though I have tried, at the end of every day, my head gets filled with what if’s, all the time.

It’s not healthy, I’m fully aware of that, but how am I supposed to blame myself? God knows how much I have tried to completely forget about him, to no avail.

Sure, I no longer think of him as often as I used to before, but I know that some part of me still believes that there’s still a chance sometime someday…

Self-infliction, they’d call it. Loving is what I prefer to call it, though. I guess I truly have found my match, only that it’s with someone who could no longer love me back…

But even though I could now only love him from a distance, I know that this love will endure for many more years to come. And though sometimes, I’d wish for these feelings to go away, I could never seem to allow myself to do such thing. For hope still lingers in me somewhere…

Oh, l’amour… Broke my heart and now I’m aching for you. Mon amour, what’s a boy in love supposed to do?
– Oh, L’amour, Erasure

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