It’s that time of the year again when people celebrate a day especially dedicated for all father’s. People celebrate the day made for their dads differently… some may cook dinner, take them out for a movie, a play or perhaps a bar (trust me, I know someone who took his father out in a bar for father’s day), or maybe do random things with them. I honestly would want to jam with my dad since he’s a musician, but since he passed away two years ago, I’m celebrating father’s day here at home blogging about it over a tall glass of ice cold coffee with three shots of vodka.
You were probably thinking that I am missing my pops, and you’re definitely right. I do miss him, as a matter of fact, I do miss him so much that if I could just do anything to be with him right now, I’d grab that chance with both hands. I just find it funny though, that despite of the fact that I haven’t seen my dad for thirteen years before he passed away I still feel as if he was there with me all throughout my life. I know we spent a great load of time when I was younger, and the photos would prove it, but it’s always better if you can be old enough to remember memories… When I saw him again, that afternoon after thirteen whole years, it was 15th of June 2009, my head suddenly programmed a panoramic shot of every moment, and probably even recorded what we had talked about that day.
I shall never forget his warm and tight embrace, and the tears that he shed for me that day. I was hiding my true emotion that day, but inside I cried with him. I realized that I don’t hate him after all, I was just bitterly missing him in all those thirteen years of his absence. I realized I love him but I never got to tell him personally… That picture of us on the left was taken last April 25 2010, a week before he left me for good.
He died on a Sunday, while playing the piano during the 4pm children’s mass in the church of Sta. Clara de Montefalco in Pasig City. I was planning on visiting him that day, thought of dropping by to surprise him. I’m glad I didn’t, for I don’t know what would have become of me if I witnessed him dying in my own arms. The Friday before that, he sent me a text message telling me he loves me so much, and I replied with the same message. Perhaps that was the last good bye I got from him. I wish I have known that he will be leaving me so soon, I would have spent more time with him if that was the case. If only there was the slightest trail of it all, but there wasn’t and so he was gone.
He was gone just as I was letting him into my world, and making him part of my plans for the future. So to anyone whoever gets to read this, treasure every moment you have to spend with your father, for you will never know when he will be taken away from you for good. For those whose father’s have committed the same mistake as mine did, forgive. It is always better to nurse a broken heart, than a bothered conscience.