It’s been over a year since you have departed, and I must say that it was not easy for me to be dealing with the agonizing situation you left me in. You left just when I was starting to include you in my world, just when we were planning to append each other in one’s future.
It’s been a hard year for me, I could not seem to fully let you go. Every now and then I would think of you and be hurt of the fact that I could no longer see you. Although, I know that you are there, watching over me from wherever you are right now, still, it’s not the same. It will never be the same.
Sometimes, the pain just becomes too corpulent, that I find it hard to bear it. I would cry myself to sleep every time that happens, and in the morning, when I wake up, I would pray to see you in my dreams the following nights, even just for once. I would just like to hug you and tell how much I love and miss you, and how much I still needed you. But that never happened.
I spend so much time busying myself with things that I love to do, but sometimes, I just get tired and bored of them. I want to do something for you, and not for other people. I want to mostly write about you, and for you, but I know you will never get to read them and appreciate them, because you’re gone and will never be back. Perhaps, even when the apocalypse comes, you will not be there to hold my hand.
I am not angry, I am just upset.
Upset of the fact that you left me too soon… I know you lived a good life, you helped a lot of people and you played a big part in others’ lives, but you played and been a part of my life for only a short while. I envy those children you often kissed and hugged, I never had many of those in my life, perhaps that explains my crankiness — my lack of affection from people that I love.
I’m not sure if I am even making sense here, but I just want to let it out, even if it’s not everything. This is the only way I know.