Almost End of Term

You’ve read that right, first term is about to end in a month or so and my stack of paper work is higher than ever. T.T But I really missed blogging so I thought I’d write something today. :) It’s been quite a while since I last blogged, and a lot has really happened in my offline life since I last posted. One was a break up, another is my week-long birthday celebration and more of internship stuff mostly.

The break up was okay, it’s nothing to feel remorseful about really. We remained good friends after it, and I’m sure it will do us both good, especially now that’s he’s starting a career, and of course I’m almost crawling to the college finish line. I felt bad about having to go through it again, but I guess we are not meant to be together at the moment… we’re not entirely closing our doors for each other, though.

Anyway, enough of the break up thinggy, after that incident I celebrated my 20th birthday with two awesome birthday celebrations. The first was on my exact birthday, September 11th. I only invited my really close friends for dinner in our Korean Restaurant and I must say that it’s the best birthday celebration I had so far. We just ate, drank and laughed all evening as we talk about the most random things and became quite nostalgic. I wish we could do that often, but I guess we live so differently now and have our own responsibilities and obligations in life now… Men, that sucks but I really wish one day we can get together every weekend or at least once a month to catch up on each other’s lives. That would be terrific. :D Oh pictures :D

The second celebration was in our house and it was meant for my students and classmates, but sadly only my good friends and one student of mine came. My mom’s best friend came too, which made the small party livelier. I got so drunk that night that I went totally blank. LOL I have never ever experienced that in my entire life, and I don’t think I want to do it again. Ha-ha!

With regard to my internship, I’m almost done with my 300 hours for this term. I am really looking forward to finishing it… it can really get stressful. Proof? I rarely get sick before… now it’s as if flu is a regular visitor. T.T Yeah, I’m really having a tough time getting through this semester, but I guess I’ll just have to do my best to get through my last year in college… I mean, how bad can it get right? :D

I’m trying to stay positive at all times, I guess that’s what was keeping me from breaking down entirely. LOL Well, that’s all for now. Hope to blog again soon. Ciao! :D


Filed under Family, General, Party, Personal

My Dream Wedding

EDITED AS OF DECEMBER 2013

I know it’s too early to be planning a wedding, especially when you agreed to a long term engagement. But what girl doesn’t make plans for her own wedding in the future whether she has a partner or not? Even nine year old’s do it, so I might as well share my vintage inspired wedding fantasy. Hihi! :)) But I won’t go as far as the cake flavor, the rings and the color scheme and all those little but too important details, because these things will definitely change, but I assure that the groom, the church, the gown and the hair will surely be the ones you’ll find in my future wedding photo. I’m going to be really idealistic on this post, but I swear I won’t hold on too much on them as to not disappoint myself. Ha-ha!

The Dress and the Look

le wedding gown. hair inspiration make-up inspiration

It’s funny that I even bothered to try and design my future wedding gown when I could have just Googled it in the first place. Saved me time and effort thinking of the design I want for my gown, plus it matches the vintage inspired theme that I have in mind. I really love this dress, basically because of its elegance and simplicity. It’s, if I must say, the perfect wedding gown for my wedding day. If you will notice there are two designs of the gown, the one on the left will be for the wedding ceremony, while the one on the right is for the reception. Don’t ask why I wanted two gowns on a single occasion, it’s going to be my wedding day so I guess I have the right to play princess. Ha-ha!

When it comes to hair-do’s and make-up, I always preferred the simple ones. I personally think that they’re more appealing than a foot high hair-do, and a bride’s face caked in make-up. I want my wedding look to be as simple as my daily look, only that it will been done professionally. I think simple things are what makes a wedding perfect, and the bride happy…well, if all brides think like me, that is.

The Wedding March
It has got to be “The Last Time” by Eric Benet. Le sigh. I guess I have all the reasons as to why I want to walk down the aisle with that song filling the air… I mean, after all I’ve been through in the past couple of years, I think I deserve to walk the aisle with this song. And if I really were to marry Mike then this song couldn’t be more perfect.

“As far as I can see, it’s only you and only me… this is the last time I’ll fall in love…” — or I shall never fall in love again. That’s constant.

The Church and the Reception Venue
I want a garden wedding since I was a little girl, but that changed at some point in my life, then reverted back to my initial dream and plan. Garden weddings are just as romantic as church weddings are, in my opinion, perhaps even more especially if you’re being wedded as the sun sets… I wanted that. The sunset, the cool night breeze building up, as you were looking into the eyes of the man whom you’d spend your lifetime with… it’s perfect. Right and perfect-if that’s even possible.

Tables, Flowers and Music

le table and flower le band

I’m not too picky when it comes to floral arrangement and tablecloth design, but I would love fresh white roses as the centerpiece of each table. Add to that a classic and elegant table set-up with a touch of a very light shade of pink, that would match the vintage theme I have in mind. I don’t want to be too particular, since I might find something better in the future, but for now I’d stick to the classic, elegant and simple table set-up like the picture above.

When it comes to my choice of music… uhm, I’d hate to break this, but I would definitely ruin the entire vintage, classic and elegant feel for a while because I wanted my favorite local band to play a couple of songs during my wedding reception, and that local band is non-other than Kamikazee. Yes, they’re those noisy, destructive and wild men that plays good music on stage, and I’d love to have them on my wedding; I’d personally request for them to play at least three of my favorite songs sung by them. Trust me, it would totally reek awesomeness and elegance but it will surely be one great hell of a night. But of course, I know I can’t have them all night, and I also know that there will be people (apart from old people) that would not enjoy their music much, or would not enjoy their music at all. So I’d definitely hire a good wedding singer that would play “Save the Last Dance for Me” and a couple of Beatles’ songs.

OOORRRR

I’ll just have a “Concert” themed wedding… yeah, that sounds a lot better. haha

The Aftermath
When the reception is over, I’d just want to be in my jammys, sitting on a rooftop or under the night sky with my future husband holding a huge mug of coffee in our hands. I wanted our first night as a wedded couple to be as silent and serene as the night sky… I just want to watch the stars as we talked about the events that transpired throughout the day and laugh at all the flaws and shenanigans that happened…

And that’s the end of this wedding fantasy. Sorry for the long post… but I’ve been dying to write about this stuff in ages. Ha-ha! I hope you enjoyed reading it though.

Le Photo Sources:
Church - Gown - Hairstyle - Table Set-up - Flowers - Kamikazee Band


Filed under Food for Thoughts, Love, Personal

Au Revoir, Lola Celi.

As my fiance and I were watching Zombie land on our monthsary last Friday, June 24, my grand mother was taken in the ICU, and at 6pm that same day, she passed away.

I didn’t know until we decided to go home. I received a text message from my mom that she already passed away. In my mind, I saw my late father’s face… the one happy face that he wore just before he passed away in May of last year. I couldn’t feel that wowa (that’s what we used to call her) is dead, honestly… it’s as if she’s still there in the living room of her house, sitting in front of the TV watching random shows all day.

I honestly am bad at reacting on certain circumstances. I just don’t know how to take news like that, until the knife of pain comes rushing to me and plunging into my heart. When I was informed that my late pops was dead, it was over the phone, and I kept my facial expression and voice as I normally would speak or ask of someone. Later that morning, after hearing the news, I remembered myself tearing into a million pieces. I cried alone, I didn’t want people to see me crying, it just feel awkward to me. I held my tears for the rest of his wake, until the pain is no longer bearable, I just had to pour it out. I probably cried for hours, literally, on the last night of my father’s wake. He didn’t die a tragic death, my papa… but it’s a very tragic news to me, for just when I was just starting to include him in my plans for the future, he was taken away from me.

Going back to my grandma, I miss her, even if we haven’t shared too much of a moment together, but the little family gatherings, and visits I make in her home makes me feel terribly sad. She’s a good woman, religious, caring and loving. She’s almost the perfect grandma, but I never grew too close to her, but still she treats me as if I did. She asks for me when I fail to visit her, she always even send me home some of my favorite meals. Right now, as I make this post, I could see her face constantly flashing before my eyes.

I miss her, but like my papa, it was her time to go. We never had control over one’s life, it seems unfair, but as weird as it may seem, it’s good that they left this earth, for in the hands of God they live.


Filed under Family, General, Personal

Respect.

Mkay, so I’ve stumbled upon a blog earlier this evening and I was kind of enjoying its reviews and tutorials, until I have come across an article written about how the Bible is not a reliable source. The blogger even had a timeline which I did not even read, not because it’s too long, but because I know that the facts the blogger have written are sacrilege. I scanned through the older posts and realized that the blogger was Agnostic. By definition, an Agnostic person is someone who claims that he cannot have true knowledge about the existence of God. To make things short, an Agnostic person does not believe in God, at all.

I don’t usually rant about being a Christian, knowing for a fact that I was baptized a catholic and am only attending Born-again Christian services every Sunday to grasp more insights from the Bible, but with what I have read, I think it’s totally disrespectful to even do that kind of thing, especially in a public domain such as a blog site. I don’t really know the blogger’s purpose on writing that article and posting it for the public to see, although I am aware that a webmaster has all the right to post whatever they want on their websites, BUT given that they watch their content. They should be responsible about the things that they post in the internet, it’s the same as with porn sites and illegal download sites. They are promoting sexual violence and piracy, as to the blog site I was talking about, it promotes hate and sacrilege. A total blaspheme.

I know I am not a perfect person, nor am I following all religious tradition, and I don’t have the right to rant about other people’s business regarding religion. Religion is a choice anyway, but promoting hate against other religion is out of the question, it just proves how unintellectual, disrespectful, shallow and unmoral a person truly is. I don’t really get the point of flaunting your so-called “religion” and maligning other religions, especially blogging about it. I don’t go to church just to show people that I do, and I don’t talk about my religion so that people would think that I am a true Christian, because what I do, say and write would not always make me the person I want other people to think of me. So, does writing articles that defies other religion, and flaunting your being agnostic makes you cooler?

Think again, my dear!

It makes you look bad, especially to those people who did not have a higher level of Theology and Philosophy. So keep your contents reader-worthy if you’re up for traffic, avoid defaming others, and never reason out that it’s a personal site wherein you could post whatever you want. You have put that up in the internet for public viewing in the first place, so be responsible if you don’t like other people doing this to you and your site. :wink:

*forgive the grammatical errors, and spelling if there are any. Not in the mood to edit. Will do it later.*


Filed under Food for Thoughts, General, Personal, Random Thoughts

When Attraction Dies, We Live in the Lies

I don’t believe that we are living a lie…

I hold on to the memories, those precious little treasures that we shared… the secrets, the stories and the things that we did together. I hold on to us, most importantly, because… I have to, and I have to because I want to.

Don’t think that I am falling out of love, because I am not. I am just going through a lot. The pressure from work, the problems with the publication, and some other personal crisis that I am sure you know of.

I apologize for being too stubborn, impatient and even vulnerable. I don’t really mean it. I don’t really want to hurt you, believe me… If I could do something, anything… to make up for everything, I would. But I can’t… I’m chained, as you know. Bound up to something for so long. I can’t break free, even if I want to, believe me I want to so that I could be with you. But I just can’t, although, I know someday I will be set free. I know you know what and who I am talking about.

I no longer want to apologize, it’s enough to apologize and explain once, because I’m tired of apologizing and doing the same thing again. It just does not make sense to me…

But I love you… would that be enough to make you stay?

if loving you is all I know don’t leave me in the cold, without you it’s not better without you nothing matters, nothing matters…


Filed under Food for Thoughts, General, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts

God’s Will…

This morning my mom and I were talking about my eighteenth birthday celebration. We have agreed on a simple dinner party instead of a grand cotillion since we lack of budget. I was not disappointed or anything, I actually liked the idea since I am not much of a party lover. So I announced the news on Facebook by making a note and tagging my friends on it. But this afternoon, my aunts and my grandmother came to visit and they happen to talk about my upcoming eighteenth birthday and guess what? They volunteered to organize a party! :D

From what happened today, I have seen before my eyes how God worked through the people that surrounds me. He used them to organize the party that my mother have always wanted me to have on my eighteenth birthday. So you could just imagine the joy and relief that my mom feels right now. I am so thankful that God has sent me great angels to help my mom and I to organize this special event in my life. God has once again proved to me how Great He truly is and how deeply He cares for me, especially for my mom.

_______________________________

“God, whom I serve with my whole heart in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you.”

Romans1:9-10


Filed under Faith, Family, Food for Thoughts, General, Party, Personal, Random Thoughts

Moving On with God.

Sometimes, no matter how much we love a person, we must learn to let them go, no matter how painful and hard it is for us. For not only God has a better plan for us but also because maybe letting go of that person will help him find God.

It took me ages before finally realizing that fact, although it was very evident on the day my ex boyfriend broke up with me seven months ago. I should have turned to God instead of turning to Vodka; I am glad that it is not too late for me though. God is truly a forgiving and loving God.

Thanks to my friends and my mom’s friend for re-introducing me to the faith that I have long known but neglected. Now I am making a progress in moving on with my life, and better, moving on with my life alongside God. I have learned to forgive although I could never forget what my ex-boyfriend did to me, I do not mind it now. I consider it as a calling instead of a heart-breaking event; it has become my turning point to living a life closer to God.

To God be all the Glory and Honor!

______________

Dear Love,

It is never too late to turn around and return to the arms of the ONE who loves you. So tonight I shall pray for you to find your way back and fall in love once again with… Him. I hope you find Jesus. God Bless you! ♥


Filed under Faith, Food for Thoughts, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts